Relaxing and giving myself a break, and yet I'm still super busy

I've been giving myself permission to read books again. I've missed taking a little time out to relax and read a book. It really does recharge me. I'm spending less time on Facebook and more time on the house and still having time to read. Facebook really sucks away my time.

As for our doggie, Sandy, she was very ill last week. It seems she'd gotten roundworms while living in her prior home. She's feeling much better now. She still doesn't like dog food or dog treats though. We have a list on our fridge of what human foods she can have and she gets so excited when she gets a bit of flour tortilla or cheese or bread. I gave her a bit of Jon's sandwich ham but it's salty so I have to limit it. She LOVED that.

One of my biggest struggles right now is my five year old. He continues to fight me on the potty training. He just won't do #2 in the toilet. His pediatrician calls it potty training resistance, but not one of the tips on the paper he gave me have helped. We've tried rewards and he decides the rewards aren't worth it, and going the opposite was not working at all either, as he'd take the punishment and go right back to it. My mother in law has tried twice to sit with him in the bathroom with him on the toilet, for an hour! He got off the toilet and then went in his pants not long after. He's supposed to start Kindergarten in the Fall, I really hope we can get this resolved before then.

I also checked our credit report and scores, which are both improving. That's nice to see but it looks like I'll need to pay off some student loans in order to get my debt ratio where we want it.

Oops, just remembered that I am supposed to take something to Cyndi's school. I'd better get to it.

I'm still here

We added a doggie to our family last week. She's a rescue, five years old and a sweet little chihuahua. She's not fixed, and is in heat right now. I feel so bad for her, she has no appetite and she just wants to lay around. We named her Sandy...like the doggie in the movie "Annie". Ethan thinks her name is Cutie and refuses to call her Sandy. She was only 3.9 pounds when we got her, she's gained half a pound so far in the week and a half we have had her.

We drove from Long Beach, CA to Tuscon, AZ and back in one day. One very long day full of many, many, many stops. All in all it was a good trip.

We are making progress on getting the house more organized. I wish I was naturally a clean freak but that's like wishing I was thin...it'll never happen if I don't put the work in to make it happen, so I'm working on it. I do see a lot of improvement, especially if I look back to the years where I would never let someone in my house. Now we can have people over and it takes maybe half an hour to get it all pretty...less if everyone helps.

Financially, we still have a lot of debt but we do have a bit of a savings safety net and I paid Jon's union dues and our car insurance through June. It feels good to be making progress.

I'm trying to keep a more positive outlook on life. Things are good, and it's not fair to anyone if I'm moody all the time.

Cyndi is doing Scuba, I'm so excited for her. What an adventure! She had a friend over for a movie after school today, I hope that happens more often.

Jacob is doing better in school. He has reached a reading level equal to his grade level. He ran into friends at Knott's last weekend and we let him go off with them for an hour and a half. He did really well, except for helping the girl he likes buy a gift for a boy she likes at school...but we won't mention that to daddy. ;)

Ethan is so funny and he gets my sense of humor...but I'd love it if he'd stop picking on his siblings...his OLDER siblings, who he makes cry.

The company Jon works for went under so he's working for a new company, but still doing the same job, another company just took over the crews and job. He's getting less hours but at least he's still working full time.

Well...that's about it. I'll try to write more often.

What a difference a little perspective makes

My son got a B on his Math test! I'm so thrilled that I could pee myself while hopping around doing a happy dance. I homeschooled him for three years and put him back into school this year (6th grade) with his IEP there to make sure they help him with his learning disabilities. I would have been thrilled with a C but a B! I'm ready to shout from the rooftops. He couldn't tell that 5x6 and 6x5 are the same problem just a few months ago. I knew in my heart that if I sent him to school that there would be someone there who would be able to reach him. Somebody who would say you can do it rather than do it for him like I had and hoped that he'd absorb it by watching me work out the problems.

This made me think about the fact that I was so upset with myself when I got a B in a class that I knew I could have gotten an A in. I beat myself up for the same grade that I'm celebrating for my son getting. Why am I so hard on myself? Sure he has a learning disability and I am supposedly super smart but the fact of the matter is that when faced with our obstacles, we both have a lot going on that we have to deal with in order to get a good grade and he had some really excellent teachers working with him while I was not asking for help, barely taking time away from my other duties or even facebook for that matter, to study. He was able to over come his obstacles with hard work and determination, I was lazy. So I should be thankful that I got that B and not the grade I probably deserved and if I'd made time...I could have gotten that A. I like to blame all my chores and errands for not getting my school work done...but they don't stop me from playing Castleville, so really it's just excuses. Perspective...it helps to have some!

Merry Christmas

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a contagious smile? There was a woman at Target this morning that was in such a great mood that it spread to me. I began to feel some of her Christmas Spirit. I hope I can bring joy to others that way as well.

I am so excited to see my friend tonight after I visit Jon's family. I'm stopping by to get a big hug from her since she has been away for months. It's going to be so great to have her around again. Tomorrow I'm making a meal with my mama and then we are gonna pack up the next day and drive to meet her brother. He was given up for adoption as a baby and then his name was changed from what we had been told. Fortunately he accidentally found his correct birth certificate and found us. I'm really excited to meet him. It's a miracle. I've known of him for years and now I get to meet him. I wish his mama was still alive to meet him but I know she's watching from heaven. 

A friend posted this on their facebook status today, it really touched my heart:

Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees, around the world below, With tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.

This sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear, For I am spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear, But the sound of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here. For I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, For it's beyond description to hear an angel sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart, But I am not so far away, we are really not apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear, And be glad I'm spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above, I send you each a memory, of my undying love.

For after all "Love" is the gift, more precious than pure gold, It was always most important, in the stories Jesus told.

So please love and help each other, as my Father said to do, For I cannot count the blessings, or the love He has for you.

So have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away that tear, For I am spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I can't tell you of the splendor, or the peace here in this place, Can you imagine Christmas, with our Savior, face to face?

I'll ask Him to lift your spirit, as I tell Him of your love, So then pray for one another, as you lift your eyes above.

So please let your hearts be joyful, and let your spirits sing, For I am spending Christmas in heaven, and I'm walking with the King!

(Author Unknown)

I hope that you have a very Merry Christmas.

We got the Christmas tree up

The tree is up, it was nice to watch each ornament come out of the box and the kids put them on the tree. Each has a special memory but some aren't aging well. The lights with ornament type covers that we had on our first little Charlie Brown Christmas tree no longer lit up, we had to cut the plug end off and use it as just decor. It was a bit sad and a few of the other ornaments were chipped but we just have such fond memories from getting a new one each year. Every year before we pull out the ornaments I get this urge to buy some fancy ornaments to use instead of our regulars and then we pull out our box and I get that wonderful feeling that makes it start to feel like Christmas. I responded to a post about a fond Christmas memory and wanted to place my answer here.

"sleepovers at Grandma's house with all the cousins sleeping on egg crate mattresses and covered with handmade quilts and even though I know we woke up and opened our stockings the next morning, I remember the closet full of quilts and sleeping over the most fondly."

I go back to this memory every time I see a quilt or egg crate mattress. What fond memories am I creating for my children? What can I do to make them excited to bring their children to my home someday? I think I've been too lazy in the Christmas department...time to make an effort, time to step out of my comfort zone and do something that will bring a smile to my kiddos' faces. Hmm...I think I'm going to pull out that list of cookie recipes my friend made and maybe attempt some banana bread or poppy seed muffins. Instead of candle scents, I'm going to fill my home with real scents of Christmas.

I'd love to learn to quilt and have a closet full of them so my Grandchildren can come to my house in future years and pick out their favorite quilt. I met a lady at the park last week who told me she taught herself to quilt using youtube, maybe I should make that a hobby to work on next year.

What do you do to make fond memories for your family? What is your favorite memory from your childhood related to Christmas time?

Where is my Christmas spirit?

Missing:

Marcie's Christmas Spirit, last seen a few years (or more) ago when I would consider doing things like baking pies from scratch or cookies even. This year I tried to get the kids a Gingerbread House kit, I pawned it off on Cyndi to do with the boys while I was gone for a couple of hours, I came home to find it was in the garbage. I know they told me what happened to it, but I wasn't really listening. It didn't matter. So, Christmas is in 9 days and the only decoration I have up is the Santa I never took out of the window over the stairs last year. No tree, no wreath, no lights or anything. I meant to get Ethan an Advent Calendar and make a loop thing with him to count down to Christmas, but I haven't. Tomorrow is my husband's family's Christmas party and I haven't figured out what anyone will wear or even purchased any gifts, except a few pieces of jewelry for the aunts that my mom told me I should buy at a boutique party so that I'd have something to give them this year. One of them already broke in the bag, I hope the rest will at least make it through their first attempt to wear them. I guess that's what happens when you buy $3 jewelry. Yes, I'm that cheap. My son wants an Air Swimmer Shark. Somehow all I can think of is that it's going be be a pain in the behind to put together and I don't want to deal with it, but I will order it tomorrow anyway so that he'll get the one thing he asked for. The other kids have made it clear what they want as well, but I haven't even purchased one of those items yet. I think I'm going to have to turn on some Christmas music and fake it until I make it, starting today.
Merry Christmas!

When will I ever learn?

So I'm trying to get myself on a budget. I bought the starter set for the Dave Ramsey program and proceeded to not read one page. I tried to keep going on my own and paid another bill using my billpay only because I forgot that my husband's check was missing two days and I needed to push that bill out two weeks. Now I get to scrimp yet another week and I'm dreading telling my husband that I blew it again. So today I need to sit down and actually plan out how we are going to spend the next few checks so that I can go with my family to meet my uncle at the end of the month, and provide my kiddos with a Christmas. I know it's possible to become debt free, I just need to make myself sit down and plan a budget and stick to it. I can not allow myself to be lazy and continue to have bad credit. I would love to be able to rent a house in a good neighborhood, and maybe even own a house some day. It's so embarrassing when people ask where we live and I know they live somewhere much fancier than I do. I guess I just need to sit down and figure it out, I'll start by reading that book and working through the workbook that came with it. I can do this!