Two years have passed and so much has changed. I'm working full time, Jon has just started back to work after 14 months of unemployment, 7 of which were not covered by unemployment insurance. Our oldest child has graduated from High School and our middle child is starting High School, our youngest going into 2nd grade. I am more in love with my husband today than I was 19 years ago when we were so newly expecting our first child that we didn't know yet.
I am 39 years old and finally starting to feel like a for real grown up. Having an 18 year old going through that not so fun stage of thinking they know everything and have all the answers reminds me of how much I thought I knew, and makes me realize just how little I actually understood life. I keep hoping that I can cut her off at the pass and help her avoid so much pain, but she is dead set of running full speed for the cliff. So, I've reached an understanding, that it's my job to be here to kiss the boo boos when she falls, but not necessarily to stop her from falling. I just hope that I've taught her enough that she will pedal fast and strong and not fall down.
I've decided to turn my focus inward and instead of criticizing myself as I tend to do, I'm making another plan. I like to make plans, but I hate change and so I get scared and don't follow through. I keep reading things that basically say, if you don't like your life, change it. Easier said than done, I always think to myself, but this time, I will make changes. So my goal is to get from 229lbs down to 170. My mom has much less to lose than I do, but the first one to reach our goal will receive $100 from the other. I'm hoping this will motivate me to get up in the mornings and do a walk away the pounds video, or think twice about what I eat or even go to the gym some evenings after work (we've paid for it but not used it for far too long). I'm also working on raising our credit scores by 100 points and saving to buy a home. This one is going to be tough because we have so far to go, but I'm going to take baby steps and get there. Lastly, I'm going to work on making the place we live into a home that I can be proud to invite people in to visit. I have no decor sense and our furniture has been abused but I am going to make definite steps toward to fixing that.
Lastly, I plan to take more time to be the me I want to be, not just by weight and clothing and care of myself, but the mom and wife that makes me feel good about myself. I want to take more time for reading and writing, but I can't do that if I don't unclutter my life in so many other ways. I'm a work in progress and my life is still busy, maybe even more busy than it was before, but all in all, it's a good life.
I am 39 years old and finally starting to feel like a for real grown up. Having an 18 year old going through that not so fun stage of thinking they know everything and have all the answers reminds me of how much I thought I knew, and makes me realize just how little I actually understood life. I keep hoping that I can cut her off at the pass and help her avoid so much pain, but she is dead set of running full speed for the cliff. So, I've reached an understanding, that it's my job to be here to kiss the boo boos when she falls, but not necessarily to stop her from falling. I just hope that I've taught her enough that she will pedal fast and strong and not fall down.
I've decided to turn my focus inward and instead of criticizing myself as I tend to do, I'm making another plan. I like to make plans, but I hate change and so I get scared and don't follow through. I keep reading things that basically say, if you don't like your life, change it. Easier said than done, I always think to myself, but this time, I will make changes. So my goal is to get from 229lbs down to 170. My mom has much less to lose than I do, but the first one to reach our goal will receive $100 from the other. I'm hoping this will motivate me to get up in the mornings and do a walk away the pounds video, or think twice about what I eat or even go to the gym some evenings after work (we've paid for it but not used it for far too long). I'm also working on raising our credit scores by 100 points and saving to buy a home. This one is going to be tough because we have so far to go, but I'm going to take baby steps and get there. Lastly, I'm going to work on making the place we live into a home that I can be proud to invite people in to visit. I have no decor sense and our furniture has been abused but I am going to make definite steps toward to fixing that.
Lastly, I plan to take more time to be the me I want to be, not just by weight and clothing and care of myself, but the mom and wife that makes me feel good about myself. I want to take more time for reading and writing, but I can't do that if I don't unclutter my life in so many other ways. I'm a work in progress and my life is still busy, maybe even more busy than it was before, but all in all, it's a good life.
