When people ask me how I am doing, I just tell them that I am putting one foot in front of the other, and working to get through each day. This is not where I want to be, but I'm not going to stop trying. I've paid off five collections (we owe $10,000 in medical collections) and my credit score went down. In researching this, I discovered that two new items were added and that is why it went down. I have a job that I absolutely love. I am not changing the world or solving world problems, but I'm good at my job and the company recognizes that. I even won 4 tickets to Disneyland. As soon as we can buy the 5th ticket, pay for parking and food, and find a day we can take off, we get to take our family to Disneyland for the first time since 2008. It's exciting! I found out that I could have avoided a lot of these collections if I'd talked to the creditors, but I've had some very bad experiences with debt collectors and I avoided their calls, knowing that I couldn't even send them a payment that would satisfy them so I didn't even try. I'd love to be able to buy a vehicle or move to a neighborhood where we aren't awakened by gunshots. Having good credit will open those doors.
I'm working on a food budget, and hoping that will help me make a difference. I figure every time I make dinner at home instead of going to a drive thru (which we do way too often, as I'm mentally drained by the end of the day) we will save $15-35. Even if we save $20 times 7 days, that's $140 we aren't spending each week, that's $600 a month I can spend to pay off debt, or even just makes it less likely that I will get a payday loan that month. If I can talk the creditors into settling for half, I could pay the debt off in less than a year, just by not eating out. I've asked my daughter to help me in this endeavor, by making sure the kitchen is clean each day. So far, I've grocery shopped for this week, using a menu I created on Friday, and we made our own food yesterday. I've also put the car into the shop, which will cost us $834 a month, for 6 months. SO, maybe in 6 months, I can actually start paying more creditors. For now, I'm paying $120 per month and this month I will finish paying off another one and I can use those funds to work on the next one. I know we are making progress, but it feels so slow. I just want to have made better choices but I can't change the past, I can only work on making the future better. Make good choices people!
As for parenting, I could just pull my hair out most days. What is the right thing to say when the school calls to tell you that your child threatened to kill another child, in detail, for asking him to move up in the line. Obviously I'm disappointed, but I'm also not the least bit surprised. Nothing this child says or does surprises me anymore, but it still hurts me. We have taken away his ability to watch shows or play games that are not age appropriate. We have handed out punishments but he just shrugs them off or throws a tantrum so bad that we reach our wits end and can't even be in the same room as him. He has irrational fears of being in a room alone or using the restroom. He soils himself daily and he's a very bright 8 year old. He refuses to write at school, even though he knows the answer. How can three children all turn out so differently with the same set of parents. I mean, I know that I have changed through out the years, as has their father, but essentially, we are the same people. I've finally reached my limit and started looking for a counselor for him. I have major trust issues when it comes to counseling, so this is going to be a huge challenge for me. I hope that it helps him though. I just don't know how else to help him.
I'm always working to do better today than I did yesterday. Educating myself in ways to do life better makes such a difference in my life. It gives me the power to stay positive and keep trying. It can be frustrating to be unable to do the things that we thought we would be able to do by this stage of our lives, but it is also empowering to know that others have come through to the other side of adversity with an excellent outcome. I'm going to just keep swimming, even though I'm fighting against the current the whole way. I know that I'm not making much progress in distance, but I'm growing stronger from the exercise.
I'm working on a food budget, and hoping that will help me make a difference. I figure every time I make dinner at home instead of going to a drive thru (which we do way too often, as I'm mentally drained by the end of the day) we will save $15-35. Even if we save $20 times 7 days, that's $140 we aren't spending each week, that's $600 a month I can spend to pay off debt, or even just makes it less likely that I will get a payday loan that month. If I can talk the creditors into settling for half, I could pay the debt off in less than a year, just by not eating out. I've asked my daughter to help me in this endeavor, by making sure the kitchen is clean each day. So far, I've grocery shopped for this week, using a menu I created on Friday, and we made our own food yesterday. I've also put the car into the shop, which will cost us $834 a month, for 6 months. SO, maybe in 6 months, I can actually start paying more creditors. For now, I'm paying $120 per month and this month I will finish paying off another one and I can use those funds to work on the next one. I know we are making progress, but it feels so slow. I just want to have made better choices but I can't change the past, I can only work on making the future better. Make good choices people!
As for parenting, I could just pull my hair out most days. What is the right thing to say when the school calls to tell you that your child threatened to kill another child, in detail, for asking him to move up in the line. Obviously I'm disappointed, but I'm also not the least bit surprised. Nothing this child says or does surprises me anymore, but it still hurts me. We have taken away his ability to watch shows or play games that are not age appropriate. We have handed out punishments but he just shrugs them off or throws a tantrum so bad that we reach our wits end and can't even be in the same room as him. He has irrational fears of being in a room alone or using the restroom. He soils himself daily and he's a very bright 8 year old. He refuses to write at school, even though he knows the answer. How can three children all turn out so differently with the same set of parents. I mean, I know that I have changed through out the years, as has their father, but essentially, we are the same people. I've finally reached my limit and started looking for a counselor for him. I have major trust issues when it comes to counseling, so this is going to be a huge challenge for me. I hope that it helps him though. I just don't know how else to help him.
I'm always working to do better today than I did yesterday. Educating myself in ways to do life better makes such a difference in my life. It gives me the power to stay positive and keep trying. It can be frustrating to be unable to do the things that we thought we would be able to do by this stage of our lives, but it is also empowering to know that others have come through to the other side of adversity with an excellent outcome. I'm going to just keep swimming, even though I'm fighting against the current the whole way. I know that I'm not making much progress in distance, but I'm growing stronger from the exercise.
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